By Abdulillah

Recently I wrote a piece in this forum titled “Democracy in Jordan?” As stated in that piece, the purpose was to pretty much outline what I felt was perplexing about our future forays into the so called democratic principles of government, and what actually democratic government meant to thinkers of the past and present. Soon thereafter our leadership outlined what it felt was necessary for making our proposed democratic system work for all Jordanians. This discussion paper was the second installment of proposed discussion papers outlined by our leadership for their vision of our journey into this new form of governance. I have read and reread them several times and implore all my brothers and sisters to do so. It is rare if not unprecedented that a head of state would openly lay out their thoughts and ideas in written format for their people. I for one feel fortunate and thankful. If you do not know where to find and read these papers, please follow to the following web-site as it is the best to hear from the person telling the story directly than second hand,

http://kingabdullah.jo/index.php/en_US/pages/view/id/244.html.

In light of these new developments and discussion papers, I was reminded of a long ago personal development in our large family. As a young teenager, I was privileged to have been taken by my elderly father to a gathering (Dewan, as it is called in Arabic), of my large and extended family. These gatherings took place annually, typically in the summer months when many of the family scattered through-out the country, the middle-east and overseas were in town, or when issues of immediate family concern arose, where those present in country were obliged to attend. This was one of those occasions. Being the most ranking member of the family present in country (by the way ranking was generally based on age, a sound mind and judgement, as well as temperament), my father was requested by the family to sit as the representative head of the family on this occasion and on many previous and latter occasions. On this particular occasion it was a matter of emergency, as a very young family member was killed in a traffic incident by someone outside the family. The local officials had taken the body of this young family member to the hospital and the driver of the car that hit this young family member to the local police station where he was held in detention.
It happens that this driver was a young male of a wealthy and prosperous family who had recently acquired his driver’s license and was said by the policeman investigating the accident, out driving, and possibly may have been slightly speeding at the time, coming down a hill-side on a gravel road, where he encountered our young family member crossing the street (not in or on a sidewalk) with friends on the way home from school, where they were struck and killed. Of course some of our family members were in an uproar wanting to take revenge on the individual, and of course some of his family was not going to take this without causing a family feud. In that light the ranking members of his family called a meeting of their own, and the opposing sides were poised for confrontation.

In our family gathering, the young hot bloods called for revenge and confrontation, while others sat silently without posing any views on the subject manner, and in the center sat this elderly man of my family and my father, who listened to each and all sides asking questions of each member in an open forum. The custodian of the hall where this gathering was taking place suddenly walked in and indicated that the opposing family had sent an emissary to our gathering asking for permission for a meeting. And so, my father looking at the elderly man that sat next to him nodded in agreement that such a meeting take place and requested that they come to our family gathering. During this time he asked and reached a consensus from all the family members that no harm or harsh words be spoken and that only civil discourse take place.

The opposing family members arrived, most were elderly except for a few (the rest of their hot heads I found out later were left behind) and of course the father of the young man involved in the incident. After cordial greetings were made, without incident (which personally at the beginning of this I thought could never take place), the father of the young man, a smartly dressed and elegant man, who appeared quite educated, rose to speak as he faced my father and the elderly man sitting next to him. He indicated that this young man was his only son and had no other children but him. That his son had recently passed his high-school matriculation and was to go to University soon. He implored for his son’s sake, mercy and forgiveness in such a passionate voice, that all with knowledge and children knew his vast love for this child. After his speech and the other entreaties made by his family members on his behalf, the elderly man sitting alongside my father whispered a few words in my father’s ear and my father stood up, stating he along with the father of this young man, some elders of his family and the father of the young family member killed were going to go to meet this young man at the police station where he was held. And off we went as I tagged along at my father’s side not saying a word.

At the police station where this young man was held, the young man was brought out flanked by policemen on both sides. It was obvious from his disheveled clothes and face that he was not enjoying himself in custody, and that he had been crying. When he saw his father and the elders of his family as well as the rest of the entourage he started weeping silently. The young man’s father stood along his side, holding him steady and told him that our family wanted to meet him to ask him a few questions related to this accident. First he was asked what occurred in his own words. He related that in his excitement on passing his matriculation and his getting his driver’s license, he went for drive around town and to celebrate. He had come down the hill-side road a little over the normal course of speed. He saw the group crossing and thought that all had sufficient time to cross before he was to encounter the area, and as such, although he slowed, he did not feel it unsafe at the time and continued. He suddenly noticed that the entire group had crossed except one which to him seemed had frozen in fear. Slamming on his breaks, the car slid on the gravel road and struck the child. He expressed his anguish and his desire to make amends, but because of the death caused knew not how.

The father of the young family member, killed after a brief consultation with my father, asked that he be release and without incident. After his release we all returned to the hall where the rest if the family was waiting. What happened next amazed me, and to this day still affects me both as a father and a family member. My father walked towards the opposing father with his son at his side and took the father of the young family member killed with his young and only son at his side and put him alongside each other and stated to both and here I am paraphrasing. “Your son is his son and his son is your son, their lives and well-being is now both your concern. How they grow up and how they live will be the responsibilities of the both of you. If one is in need then the other must come to his aide. Go and celebrate your lives”. The main actors of this story have since passed, but their legacy still lives on with the unification of these two families.

So I say to you my brothers and sisters and those that support the Islamic Action Front and Muslim Brotherhood or any other party espousing the boycott and rejection of these elections, is it not time for you to join and be part of our extended family. Are we not entitled to enjoy your arguments and wisdom made in civil forum and not in the streets, where we can hear you and allow you, when we feel you are correct, to lead us in areas that you are strongest and most capable of leading? Or must we endure more rejection and more intransigence on your part?

A plea to all my brothers and sisters, do not fear anything on this earth, fear only the one we all have to answer to when all is gone except him. Follow your hearts, with reason, as it will lead us to places that we all can enjoy. We are brothers and sisters, and we are the best of all nations. From our peoples, have been chosen all the fathers of the Abrahamic faiths. We have had many forms of government, but we hold fast to what makes us a great people. The love of humanity! So please it in the months and years to come. May God/Allah Bless Jordan and its People.