Ammon News - Bill Gates credits much of his success to how his parents raised him.

His father, William Gates Sr., “very much believed in” a parenting philosophy called “Love and Logic,” which involves setting clear boundaries for children and calmly enforcing them with empathy, Gates tells CNBC Make It.

“It was clear [to me] the world was a place that he had under control,” Gates says. His father always made an effort to remain “calm and always predictable,” even when his children were struggling or acting out, he adds.

“He was never panicked,” says Gates. “He never had to show emotion or use emotion against me, even when I was being incredibly obstreperous.”

Gates was a frustrating child to raise, he says. He particularly butted heads with his mother, refusing to leave his bedroom — where he’d spend hours immersed in books, snarkily shouting at his mom if she tried to draw him out, he wrote in his new memoir “Source Code,” which published last week.

His parents worried about his early struggles in school, where he was often distracted and uninterested in taking assignments seriously, he added. Gates caused them “so much turmoil” that they took him to a therapist, he wrote.

“I’m at war with my parents,” Gates recalled telling the therapist.

Gates Sr. used calm to de-escalate conflict
Rather than overreacting by raising his voice or inflicting harsh punishments, Gates’ father “would always use reason and thoughtfulness and calmness,” Gates says.

Gates Sr. believed in “having clear rules, enforcing them in a clear, predictable way, with the minimum amount of emotion,” Gates says, which is the essence of the “Love and Logic” philosophy first popularized in the 1970s by creators Foster Cline, a child psychiatrist, and Jim Fay, an educator.

For Gates Sr., that often meant coming home from his job as an attorney and calmly de-escalating whatever conflict had arisen between Gates and his mother, Mary. ”‘In our house, as you know, we don’t do things like that. I think it’s fair that you go upstairs now and apologize,’ he might say,” Gates recounted, “with an emotional distance that showed he was serious, and that I better listen.”

The only notable exception: Once, Gates was such a “smart aleck” at a childhood dinner that his dad threw a glass of water in his face, an “extreme” reaction so out of character that it gave the younger Gates a “shock,” he wrote.

Over time, his father’s calming influence helped Gates better control his emotional outbursts, he wrote. CNBC