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Ammon News - AMMONNEWS - Three days ago, I experienced a bereavement that was unlike any other I have ever experienced in my life: the death of my former husband, Nadim Gargour and that of his much-beloved son, Karim, in a tragic car crash.

Nadim and I were married for 14 full years after dating for three. We met on January 16, 1995 – the day his Dad, bless his soul, turned 80. Our divorce was formalized on February 14, 2011 when the world celebrates Valentine’s Day.

Going through what a friend called my “unacknowledged grief” is tough and a must.
Waves of emotions continue to ripple through my heart. Sadness over a failed relationship, anguish over tough circumstances that invaded our life as a couple when most “wise men” disappeared, regrets over the bad times, and longing for the good times.

I have every right to this immense feeling of personal loss. We went through the entire menu: mad love, lean times, good times, tough circumstances, a rough divorce and finally closure.

We’d occasionally see each other at social gatherings and exchange cordial happy birthday and Christmas wishes. Nadim, your death on Thursday caught me totally off-guard. I had always confidently predicted you would outlive me because I often saw in you a fit man who was larger than life.

The intensity of the grief I felt at your death and that of Karim took me and my entire family by total surprise. It also presented me with a lot of open-ended questions about our journey through life.

Nadim, I thank God we closed the chapter in January 2013 during a cordial lunch in Beirut, and not now with such a tragic accident. Many friends and even family members were surprised at my insistence to see you then. Now they understand.

I went to your funeral today to thank you for the good years we had together. Years filled with amazing memories and many true moments of joy, love and happiness. We achieved so much together.

In times of grief, devastation and anguish, as I have come to learn from experiencing the death of important people in my life, it is okay to allow compassion to prevail.

Nadim, in the last few days I have sifted through the photos of our life together, the loving cards and letters you sent me over the years and the special gifts you gave me for my birthday and Christmas, or when you got back from a business trip.

I have spent a lot of time with family and friends who I know meant a lot to both of us. Hundreds of friends, and acquaintances got in touch to offer their condolences and to share what they knew about you from personal experiences – at school, work and in life.

Nadim, you are a true loss, and so is Karim.

I will not fight the grief that walked into my life unexpectedly on December 28, 2017. I will always cherish the good times we had together – I can safely say they were far more than the bad ones.

You taught me so much in life. We embraced many opportunities and challenges. We even designed/supervised the completion of the family cemetery in distant Sahab, where you and Karim, were laid to rest today.

I pray to God, the Almighty, to give Paty, Hanna, Tanya, Tamer, Raya, Raja, Carol and everyone who was part of your great life the strength to cope with this tragic loss. Nothing can take the pain out of the heart, but inner peace, forgiveness and gratitude can ease it.

But I count on all the good memories to stay with me. Your sudden death and that of my very dear Karim, is a blatant reminder that we are all candles in the wind. It is a reminder to all of us how tenuous life is and how unfair it can be.

May your soul and the soul of Karim rest in eternal peace next to your loved ones who have already departed this world.